Today is Gracie's 6th birthday. It has been a whirlwind of shopping, school w/40 red frosted cupcakes, lunch out, a stop at wal-mart for more cake supplies. At lunch we talked about the miracle of Grace, how we felt when she was born & sharing stories with her of that day. (Leaving out the hideous parts of course leading up to the glorious event). She loves the story of the cat bringing her crunchies when she wouldn't nurse. She asks then "Where is my present?" I reply: "I just made forty cupcakes with red frosting and brought them to your school, brought you a boquet of balloon for you and Abraham" (the friend of hers whose mother didn't bring anything for his birthday today.) I have often prided myself in not living a glamourous lifestyle. We drive crappy cars live in a house that is fine, but certainly not over the top. Trying to remember lessons learned in the last 10 years of people over things.
So I felt like this was a nice answer, of course we did have a present for her for today and a couple for tomorrow. The kid got pissed at me. "No the real present". Are you freaking kidding me? What happened to my shy, polite girl of just two months ago wouldn't leave my side, wouldn't speak to anyone she wasn't close to. Kindergarten has been tough. I had no idea, however, the crap she would come home with she is learning from her "friends". Right now she is singing the theme song to Cops. WTF "Where did you learn that?" "At Grandma's"
So...I feel a bit disgusted with myself for feeling so icky on Gracie's birthday. Changes are a coming. We'll wait until Sunday. Today she got a pretty nice scooter and for tomorrow is Tinkerbell Barbie and Pocahontas Barbie...Plus a party a Chuckie Cheese with 5 friends.
I do want my baby back. I miss her needing me. I miss her listening to me or not challenging every word along the way.
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